Revised Conclusion

Revised Conclusion 

Revising the conclusion of one's writing is also instrumental in the writing process. Below is my work on revising my original conclusion paragraph. 

Neji. "New" via Wikimedia Commons. Creative Commons Attribution.  

As Bailey noticed in peer revision my original conclusion was pretty much all summary and fit right into the category of a classic high school conclusion paragraph. That being said, after scrapping the whole thing and taking a look at Grace's conclusion paragraph I think I got a better handle on what a conclusion should look like. I tried to rewrite my conclusion in a way which sounds more fluid and less of a summary but I am still a bit worried that it fits into the cliche high school conclusion. 

Original Conclusion: 

An author does not just use rhetorical devices just to appease the readers of the writing. An author specifically utilizes rhetorical devices in order to convince readers of a viewpoint. Similarly, in her article “Genetically Engineered Babies? Experts Debate Idea of ‘Designer Baby’ Ban” Wynne Parry employs numerous different tactics in order to convince readers to become opponents of the genetic engineering ban. Through multiple layers of meaning Parry is not only able to inform the reader of the topic at hand but is able to persuade them into believing that genetic engineering is for the good of society and should be legal. Additionally, the appeals to logic and emotion work to further the audience’s understanding of the topic of genetic engineering. These different devices all work hand in hand to create an effectively persuasive article which has reader’s agreeing with the author by the end. Although at first glance the article may appear to be just an informative piece, after reading through the whole article it becomes obvious that the piece works to persuade the audience to believe in the beneficial factors that come as a result of genetic engineering.

Revised Conclusion: 

Throughout her article “Genetically Engineered Babies? Experts Debate Idea of ‘Designer Baby’ Ban” Wynne Parry works to provide her readers with an understanding of both sides of the controversy of genetic engineering. Through her reference to credible sources as well as acknowledgment of counterargument Parry encourages her readers to think more deeply about the subject at hand. By utilizing not only factual analysis but also that which the reader can connect to on a more personal level allows for more through understanding of the subject at hand. The readers are more capable of connecting with the subject on a more personal level by having both the costs and benefits of genetic engineering shown which allows them to formulate their mostly accepting opinions on the controversy. Although a number of people do favor a ban on genetic engineering in reality their claims are unsubstantial due to the medical advancements which would be reached if genetic engineering pursued. A decrease in genetic ailments far outweighs the small possibility of society being overcome with desire to produce physically favorable children, the reason which the future of genetic engineering is bright.